Friday, June 14, 2013

Overall I Guess I'm Happy

overalls: goodwill
doc martens: goodwill
striped shirt/jacket: I don't remember :{

I want this blog to be more than just a fashion one stop, I want it to behold my thoughts and dreams in such a way that a simple diary can't do. I want to look back on this in years to come (hopefully) and smile at my naivety and adolescent mentality. So I'm going to get more "meaningful" in my posts.

I use the same excuse all the time. "If it didn't happen, its because the universe didn't want it too", is my go-to philosophy and outlook for a lot of the things that happen in my life. Obviously i'm okay with this sort of thinking but lately I've been feeling that i've hijacked this spiritual theology to tailor to my own needs. For example when I miss the bus or arrive late for this Colgate University focus group where i could of gotten $75 for merely voicing my opinions (yesterday)- I simply shrug my shoulders and think that this is the design of the universe.
I do this 'scapegoating' on the universe if you will, because it saves me from having to blame myself. I find that I am terribly hard on myself when it comes to missed opportunities so by saying that it was meant to be, I essentially ease my consciousness. Maybe the universe is all knowing and maybe it's not, but I have to start taking responsibility for MY actions. I should have left my house earlier to make it to the focus group thing yesterday, no excuses. 

woah, I feel like an adult. 

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